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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!" | |
| Teacher: Aasmaan mein udne wali chiz Ande deti hai, Aur zameen pe rahne wali Bachche deti hai. Kaun c chiz aisse hai jo Aasmaan me udti hai par Bache Zameen par deti hai?
Santa: Airhostess ! | |
| Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?
Pappu: Mere Nankeya De Gharon.
Teacher: Kinwe?
Pppu: Jado Light Jandi Hai Papa Kehndy ne ‘Saleya ne Pher cut ti. | |
| Santa: What’s the name of ur car?
Banta: I don’t know but it starts with "T"
Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te Petrol nal start hundi hai. | |
| Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega? | |
| Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!! | |
| Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM... what’ll u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sister?
Santa’s son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum! | |
| Samundar de kande baithe han, Kadi tan lehar aaogi,
Kismat badle na badle, CHAPPAL TAN DHOTI JAUGI, So always think positive. | |
| Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night. | |
| Santa went to international cooking contest. When judges came to him, he was moving spoon in empty kadhai.
Judge asked: Kya bana rahe ho?
Santa: FUDDU… | |
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Boss: I’m giving u driver’s job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ?
Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary? | |
| Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!. | |
| Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!! | |
| Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de. | |
| Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi. | |
| Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de. | |
| Santa went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si… | |
| Santa gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you Guess why?
To see whether it’ll BOUNCE or not! | |
| Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi pe dhaka de doon? | |
| Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive! | |
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Santa looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him sumwhere.
Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album. | |
| Baniye shayar ne arz kiya.
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ par Kambakht, Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke BYAAZ par. | |
| Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon. | |
| Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.
Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu? | |
| Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA kar chuke si?
Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v chad chuke si. | |
| Santa kissed his girl friend in the park. Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle…
Santa: Don’t worry darling, I'm already married. | |
| | Bante di wife nu daaku chuk k ley gaye. Sarean ne keha daaku khatarnaak ne, khali haath na jawin wife nu bachaun. Banta 2-kg Amb ley Gaya. | |
| Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko. | |
| Jeeto: Main tang ya. Tusi hamesha Mera Ghar, Meri car, mera beta, bus Mera Mera hi karde ho, kadi Sadda vi keha karo, hun almari vichon ki lab rahe ho?
Santa: Sadda Kachcha. | |
| Santa: Bhai, har roz murge nal roti khaidee hai.
Banta: Yaar, Oh kiven?
Santa: Ik burki aap khaidee aae te ik murge nu paayee di hai. | |
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